How does divorce work?

Question

We still live together. Do I leave them get a lawyer or do I get a lawyer then move out? I don’t want to tell him my plan so idk what to do… for those of you that have been through this hell how do I proceed??
Who gets the dogs?? I do all their grooming and vet bills and food. Do I take the dogs? I don’t wNt him to come after me 
Do I take my stuff with me or just leave them come back and get my stuff??
I’m so lost 😖

Answer

Don't leave the home. Consult an attorney, they will be able to tell you what you are entitled to and how to best protect your interest and assets. Make sure you have individual bank accounts. Move in silence. Get a PO Box for any new accounts you may need to set up.

Answer

Oh And…
do you have a joint cell phone account?
whoever is the primary on that account gets to keep it.
if you leave the account then you have to start over, you have to pay the fee, they actually have to run your credit and you have to get a credit check.   F’ing sucks!
Auto/home insurance?
House payment? so who pays for this?
if you abandon the house, and he pays the house payments, then what?  this one was never clear, unfortunately.
The one thing we both did was pay our bills.  but my ex was an overbearing arrogant asshole and ran me into the ground. 
I was FAIR, being fair is in my DNA, and I was always playing catch-up until the very end at my fourth attorney. ￼￼￼￼
but the house is community property and you both have rights to it.  period. 
don’t throw anything out the window, don’t destroy any property, don’t even throw his phone in the yard, or you will go to jail. ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼
however if you take all the stuff and you hide it, then he has to prove it exists.   its a fine line. 
💕

Answer

More:  everything you have acquired during the duration of the marriage is dividable.
so say you have been married five years. So the retirement that he acquired during the five years of marriage you were together is divided.
if you or he worked somewhere for 15 years the other 10 years is off-limits.
that goes for any gift your parents gave any assets you acquired during the marriage.
anything you owned prior to the marriage, that did not become community property is still yours and yours alone. ￼￼￼
￼
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Answer

In My state it’s 50/50 no fault state.   
once you file— you are in a litigation— even though it doesn’t seem that way at the beginning— it HAS to go through the court.
once you file you have ‘x’ amount of days to attend a …conference with ￼￼￼￼your ex & the court.  it is required!   I can’t remember what it’s called, it’s sort of like a mediation, conference. 
if you guys had everything sorted out, and you guys had divided everything up, and you guys had all the documents, then you could just go in and sign, and get it done in the one hour they allocate.
most people can’t, and then it just gets moved down the line, and assigned a trial date.￼￼￼￼!!
yes , holy shit, you are assigned a trial date!    The court moves you whether you like it or not￼.
then you have ‘x’ amount of time to either get your shit done yourself, have your lawyers do your shit, or mediate. ￼
Lots of other information on mediation versus settling.
IT Sucks!
A trial would cost you at least $10-$20,000 each, for a day. ￼￼

Answer

Wow, soooo much to say…
too much for a post, however…
1) keep it quiet￼ & plan, Plan, plan.  (you wouldn’t believe how bad, bad could get)
2) put things in your name and your name alone—￼like a credit card.  depends on how long you been married, do you have joint credit for three years or 15 years?!   if you have a joint credit for a long time then you may have ‘no’ credit on your own. ￼￼￼￼￼
3) find a PO Box and get a different mailing address.
4) find all the best lawyers in your county— go into the county clerk or wherever it is— find out which attorneys also substitute as judges in the county.   they are typically the best.   ** find a female attorney!  
if you pay for the introductory visit then you ‘own’ that attorney￼￼￼￼￼￼.   ** if you want to be a deviant and win, pay for a one hour visit for every single awesome attorney in the county, and then they will not be able to represent your ex. ￼ conflict of interest. 
5) remember if you are a state that is 50-50 then 50% of the assets are yours, and 50% of the debt.
— if either of you decides to be an asshole and run up $50 grand in credit cards while you’re still married you’re fucked! ￼.   
—Amicable would be great, BUT a plan is best.
— if both names are on the bank accounts then any day of the week one of you could walk in and wipe it all out.
— The shitty part is the burden of proof is on the person who is on the receiving end of the bullshit.  unless your lawyer is a tiger, you might lose.   I.E, you take all the money, you kick him out, you keep the car keys, you hide all the documentation and official records, you take everything to a storage unit, and basically he has to prove that it exists and that he’s entitled to it.
Its Civil, not criminal, and nobody wants to touch it with a 10 foot pole so, ￼￼￼￼￼
💕

How does divorce work?

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