I’m just under 6 weeks PP and since before my son was born I was the only person to cook and clean around the house. When I had my son, the doctor gave the whole “just let her rest for the 1st week” speech and it really seemed to go in one ear out the other for my husband. The first week of my sons life he expected me to continue with doing the dishes daily and other cleaning things on top of caring for our son. He went back to work 2 days after he was born despite our baby being admitted to the NICU at 48 hours old simply bc he didn’t want to have a slightly smaller check. I sat alone all day and night in the NICU until they cleared up the jaundice.

Fast forward to now, just under 6 weeks since I’ve had my son and I’ve had to tell my husband on a daily basis to help me around the house after or before work (sweeping, laundry, dishes, changing baby’s diaper, just letting me have 4 minutes to shower and use the bathroom). He will not do it. He always has some excuse or “I forgot”. We’ve had many arguments about how I can’t do everything and the least I should get is a chance to use the bathroom by myself especially when he takes hour long showers. He’s never changed a diaper without me telling him to, he ignores our son crying at night or picks him up for a few minutes and gives him to me, he will literally bring the baby to me while I’m taking a shit so he can do something for himself like grabbing a snack.

I’ve been diagnosed with PPA and PPD and it still doesn’t click for him that I need the help around the home and that I can’t cook, clean the house, care for our son, take care of myself, and give him constant love and affection. We’ve had the same dishes in the sink for a week because I can’t do them while running on 3 hours a sleep a night. He works 8 hour days in an office, he sleeps for 7-10 hours a night and most nights he sleeps in the other room bc I now have no choice but to cosleep because I started to get sick and really anxious from sleep deprivation since I was waking up every hour.

I’m just so frustrated and sad. I haven’t showered in 3 days, I haven’t taken my hair out of the same bun in almost a week. I get no emotional support, physical help or anything. I feel like I’m drowning in my anxiety and depression and all he does is tell me what I could be doing better. I wish I could leave him but I have no money, car or anything of my own since being pregnant.

Rant over.