Let me preface this with if someone isn’t treating you like a human being with feelings, and needs. Then you’re better than that.

It took me almost 3 years to realize this. And last night at 2am I finally broke and asked for a divorce from my husband.

He was angry and stated that he did nothing and didn’t agree with getting divorced and he only cared about me and wanted me happy. I then let him know that I felt like I was happy with him for a while but things just didn’t seem that way anymore. He became aggressive and stated that I do this almost every 3 months for the last year, and he is right. But this time I didn’t back down and let him know that I meant it and I didn’t want to be together anymore and he pushed back and said “ I don’t want us to end, I love you.” This is the first time I’ve heard I love you in months, I ignored it.

The past few years has been extremely hard for me, my best friend committed suicide and I had zero emotional support from him, I flew out alone, I stayed in a hotel alone, went to the funeral alone. Flew back home and all he wanted to talk about is how dirty the house was, how I couldn’t keep things clean, how we didn’t have groceries. I paid majority of the bills, I own the house, I supported our benefits. Health insurance, vacation time. He has a degree and does nothing with it, he just complains about how he wishes he had my job but nobody will hire him. I set up multiple interviews and he either bombed them or refused to go to them because he would have to work weekends?

I worked almost everyday of the week, minus maybe a random Tuesday here and there. We had 2 dogs, he took our husky last night with him when he went to his brothers house. In the time we were married he never advanced himself, never applied himself, but would bark orders at me constantly. About my weight, my hair, my body, my education ( I’m going back to school so I can become a detective.)

I have spent the past 2 years of my life crying, hating my body, hating sex, he would shame me for not being able to get pregnant. Now I see that it was a blessing that I wasn’t stuck with him. I could type for hours about this, but I’m done with the alcohol abuse, the verbal abuse, being degraded, and being ignored.

Here’s to better days.