My mum is on a very small wage with hardly enough left for herself after paying bills let alone Christmas.

I am a stay at home mum but my partner runs his own business so we are comfortable and doing ok. I feel bad when I have money and she doesn’t and she’s always saying she’s running out of money and that she can’t afford things.

As it’s coming up to Christmas she’s told me she doesn’t know if she will be able to get her grandchildren (3 of them, 2 mine one my brothers children) anything substantial for Christmas. And as I’ve explained that they don’t care nor understand enough about money and who gets what and what things cost exactly. And she knows all this because she was just as cash Strapped when me and my siblings were growing up so we was raised to know the value of money and that we can’t have everything etc. I don’t expect her to get my children anything. I’ve told her if she has the money, fine. If not don’t worry about it. But I know this makes her feel awful. I’ve told her she can get things second hand etc because preloved is just as good as new.

But I was wondering would it be patronising or degrading etc if I was to buy some small gifts and give them to my mum for her to give to the children? Or if I gave her some money to go out and buy the gifts? Do you think she would be ok with that? I don’t mean big presents just 2 or 3 small things each?

My partner said it would make her feel like shit. And I can see that but then at least she’s got something to give them? I don’t know I just feel bad we have enough spare money a month and she doesn’t!