So I know the old joke about married couples having less sex than they did when they were newly weds or dating etc.

My fiancé and I have been together for over two years and for probably the last year our sex life has been struggling! I’ve sat him down and talked to him about it and he apologizes but nothing ever changes.

When we first got together we were having sex almost daily or even multiple times a day, and it was perfect as I have a high sex drive. Then out of nowhere it stopped, we’ve gone weeks without sex and even a month or two at times. It’s gotten to the point where it’s causing fights and arguments but nothing has changed. I’ve tried to spice up our sex life by introducing lingerie and sex toys but nothing. Yes since we’ve been together I’ve put on about 15-20 pounds (which I’m working on losing), and it makes me feel really self conscious that maybe he’s not interested in having sex with me because I’m “fat” now. He says he loves that I have something extra to hold and that I’m not so “bony” but it seems like the weight gain and lack of sex came to a head at the same time. I’m a little lost as to what to do… I don’t want to leave him because of this but it’s taking a huge toll on our relationship.

**Every so often he says it’s because of work, yet I work longer hours than him (almost double) and have a more physically demanding job and mentally draining job - not that I am putting down his job at all I am very happy that he has found a career he enjoys.**

Update; for all asking yes I do attempt to initiate sex, and if he says no I respect that and don’t push him if I feel like he’s not into it I don’t pursue it. I have tried coming up with solutions, but it’s hard not being intimate with someone when you were constantly intimate with them- it feels like rejection. And to the person who mentioned my “entitlement” and “low self esteem” issues yes I have been going to therapy for four years but thanks for the recommendation! I thought this was an app to support other women if you have no intentions to do so I suggest you fill your time with something else.