I wish I had a different mother, the one I have is narcissistic, hateful, spiteful, delusional and just a b❗️tch. She wants me to lose and fail so bad in life and I just don’t get why.

I have 3 kids and I’m trying to get myself together, she tries to take any little money I do have…. Knowing that I just started a new job, I didn’t get paid yet and I don’t have much money right now. She knows my daughters birthday is in 2 days and I was trying to save the little bit of money I did have to spend it on my daughter for her 6th birthday. I have a phone bill coming up, she just made me send her money and now I’m not going to be able to do anything for my daughters birthday. It’s either I pay my phone bill and don’t do anything for her birthday or do something for her birthday and don’t pay my phone bill. My mother is so fucked up it’s sad. I’m over here bawling because my life is so hard and so fucked up! I’m going through so much at one time and I’m just ready to give up! I have 3 babies that is depending on me and I just don’t have anything to give them right now. I’m doing this by myself! My mother keeps talking about someone disrespecting and using her… how, I don’t even talk to her. She can try to start with me and argue with me and I’ll just stay quiet and she’s saying I’m disrespecting her. She’s so crazy and delusional and I’m just so tired of her. I really hate her with everything in me. She’s a bitter bitch and I’m so over every mf body! Once I get myself together a lot of people won’t hear from me. I’m moving away with my kids, changing my number and I wont be in contact with anyone. I just can’t wait for the day I have enough money to move out and not have to worry about struggling. My kids deserve better and it’s my fault for having children with someone that doesn’t give af about them. I’m so depressed I’m just ready to give up on life