What’s his problem ??

Question

So my husband and I got into an argument I didn’t even see it coming because it was a small thing to even argue about but he always makes something small into an argument anyways he said to me “I need someone who is going to be supporting me  not like me who tells him what to do “  I got upset told him next time you want to tell me something with “I need “ imma tell you to go fuck your self because im am hella supportive i take care of the house I cook clean etc everything so he can’t pull that on me ! So question is he indicating that there’s someone else out there who is showing him some other type of support like is there someone else ???? He has no need to be saying that .?! Anyone been there ?

Answer

No it doesn’t sound like he has someone in mind he probably didn’t even mean it and was just upset. You take care of the house and cook and clean but it sounds like he is asking for emotional support not physically doing things. Like when I want to school my husband was very supportive and when I got stressed out and wanted to drop he was my support telling me to push through and keep going because it will be worth it when I’m done. Being supportive is not just about the doing things around the house.

Answer

I’m not sure what y’all were arguing about or why he feels you don’t support him so I maybe off the mark but….when I say things to my husband about needing help or emotional support, I can’t stand when he replies with something along the lines that he works so it cancels everything else out. I know he works hard and he deals with stress and issues too but it feels really dismissive and it builds resentment bc you feel like it is pointless to talk to that person. I also don’t think your husband is thinking someone else is out there to give him those things. I think it was poorly worded on his part.

Answer

I think if a husband or wife suggests they would want or need a different person other than their spouse is a problem that needs to quickly be addressed. Yes, people say things they don't mean out of anger but suggesting that someone else would be better that their spouse in an argument is NOT okay.
I don't think he's saying that there's someone else I think he's telling you that in that moment you weren't what he wanted or needed and that there could possibly be someone else out there that would be what he wants and needs who would be more supportive than you. For whatever reason he's feeling unsupported. Yes he could have just been saying hurtful things out of anger but I would take this really seriously and find a good marriage counselor to go to because comments like that are very toxic in a marriage. Also address what he's feeling unsupported in. You need to know very specifically.

What’s his problem ??

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