I had my 12 week ultrasound on wednesday, so thankful that my husband was able to come, I couldn't wait to see the baby moving and hear the heartbeat. During the ultrasound, the technician turned the monitor away from me, and I asked my husband if he could see anything, and the technician turned to me and said 'there is no heartbeat'. I was in shock, crying I kept asking if there had been a mistake, couldn they try again? But they assured me, my baby had died. I had NO worrisome symptoms whatsoever- my bump had JUST popped, my breasts were bigger than ever, the morning sickness was finally slowing down, and I was just getting over the fear and excited about being a parent. How could I have miscarried ahd not known!? The last time I miscarried, I definitely knew. The doctor came in the room and was very matter-of-fact, scheduled a d&c, and spouted some statistics while my husband and I held each other and cried. Because of the holiday they had to put off the procedure for a week. That night, I held my bump and cried, wishing by some miracle that her tiny heart would start beating again. That night, I was rushed to the ER for emergency surgery, still recovering now. Words cannot explain how I feel, this being now my second miscarriage in a row. I feel like a failure as a woman. I can't watch a commercial or see a friend's facebook post of their child and not break down in tears. My pregnancy wasn't planned, and yeah, I was scared, but I never knew how much I truly loved my baby til she was gone.