I don’t mind checking up on his family etc but I’m not even happy with myself or my life at the moment so it doesn’t make sense for me to do so rn?

My bf asked me to check up on his sister just to see how she’s doing etc. I don’t mind doing it but his family isn’t really that welcoming so I have to fake being happy and excited to see them now regardless if we had issues in the past.

However his 1st BM is still close to them and talks to them (I’m the 2nd BM) I just don’t wanna get too close to them because I know they talk about me.

It kinda threw me off guard when he told me he wanted me to check up on his sister. And idk why I just bluntly said “why? do you want me to be like your BM?” Idk why I said that. I know he wants me to have a bond with them since that’s his fam but when I try they’re very standoffish to the point where it makes me uncomfortable trying so hard for them to like me so I don’t want to try anymore. They’re very different from me. I’m the quiet & calm type & they’re the very loud and crazy type.

(Background: I didn’t grow up being close to my family and have family issues. I’ve literally raised myself since my mom and dad abandoned me and gave me to my gma to raise but she was very toxic and I had to take care of me and her since I was 15. I don’t have a bond with my sister or brother because I was the “bastard child” and got thrown to be raised by my gma so that’s why I had my own kids and created my own family that I can love and protect. Idk what it’s like having close siblings etc and I’m very awkward and scared when it comes to other peoples family)

Idk how should I go about it?