My relationship isn't great..

When I come here and talk about my relationship everyone is saying that it's abusive and I should leave.

I am not leaving because leaving is hard. There's juggling care for our kid - we both work full-time - There's juggling costs. Where I am it' s practically impossible to get a rental place, let alone when you're by yourself, and even more so buying one. I can't stay with family or friends. I can't stay in a shelter because it's not physical abuse, we're not in danger... Our situation is liveable.

Anyways why I'm asking if I'm horrible is because I have been looking at other men.. not like watching them or noticing they're good-looking but actually trying to judge their character and mentally envisioning me having a relationship with them.. not necessarily sexual but like a committed relationship.

I don't want a man to come and save me out of this unhealthy relationship either, I don't think that's a healthy dynamic. I need to be a healthy "me" before I can be a healthy someone to someone else. It's just asif I am trying to escape my reality with these "possible impossible" imaginations...

IDK.. does that make me a horrible person?

@Summer Shandy

Exactly, I'm working on getting financially seperated from my partner so that I can start saving up. But even then it's hard. The housing market is impossible where I am.. there are 10 families for thesame place and the owners obviously choose the families with double incomes and high paygrades.. if those are similar they judge based on pets, then kids, then looks because that gives them - the owners - better security on the renters being able to afford rent and to care for their place.. because families with multiple incomes can still pay rent when 1 person loses their job. They are not fond of single parent/earner families.

@Jena

Because I'm thinking of other men while I'm still with a person.