Struggling mentally/emotionally and can’t talk about it

Grace 🦋 pcos 🌻 👧🏻👧🏼👼🏼

This is really hard for me to post as I’ve always had a very hard time expressing myself and my emotions , especially when it’s deep. I’ve talked to some family and friends but I never really go deep into it. I always regret telling anyone anything and wish I hadn’t . I don’t know how to talk about it or let it out. I’ve wanted to tell my husband for many months now and I can’t . I tell myself I’m going to do it and then I don’t. I feel like I’m almost becoming numb to things and that I need to cry and I can’t cry like I need too. My dog just threw up on the floor and it made me so stressed out I almost started crying . That’s not normal . Some days I just don’t feel all there like I check out . My dog is a lot as she has a health issue , I have a 19 month old , and a 2 month old . I just feel weighed down and I don’t feel like the person or mother I thought I would be or want to be . After I cried a little about the dog throw up I proceeded to start again because my daughter was helping me pick up her blocks without me asking . I don’t know what to do and I don’t know who to talk too. I don’t want to keep feeling what I’m feeling .