My boyfriend & I have been together 8 years (we are early 20s). After high school he became addicted to hard drugs (meth, opioid pain pills). He has been sober now for about a year and 3 months and he takes methadone for opioid addiction treatment (it does not make him high).

My boyfriend and I were at the grocery store the other day in the over the counter medicine section because I need to get some gas x. My boyfriend grabbed some anti-diarrheal medicine and said he’s been having really bad diarrhea.

I became suspicious and looked up anti-diarrheal medicine and it says you can abuse it/get high off of it and that people who use opioids sometimes abuse it for a stronger high. They actually called it the “poor man’s methadone” online which instantly made me suspicious since he is taking methadone. He has been sober for over a year and has shown me that he can be trusted again so I feel bad for questioning him, but a couple days ago he told me that he was browsing through a drugs subreddit of people posting pictures of their drug paraphernalia and that it was triggering for him and so I’ve been really concerned ever since.

I asked my boyfriend if he wants this to get high and he was adamant that that’s not why he wants it and he said I could hold onto it and dispense it to him whenever he has diarrhea. I basically kept pushing it saying I think he wants it to get high and that this is how addictions start, with over the counter stuff until it just keeps getting worse and worse. My boyfriend got upset with me and asked why I don’t trust him after a year of sobriety. He said that if you try to take a lot of that stuff it will make you sick.

We did end up buying it and I am keeping it in my purse. In the car ride home I asked him how he even knew that taking too much can make you sick, that obviously if he knew that it means he was googling it. He said that a couple years ago he did take a bunch of it to try to ease withdrawal symptoms when he was trying to get off drugs and that it made him really sick and he learned his lesson. I told him I don’t think it’s a good idea to take something that he abused once in the past. I asked him why this is the first time I’m hearing that he’s had bad diarrhea and he said that it’s embarrassing so he didn’t want to tell me. Was I wrong?