I really feel like I need to write this cause I can not say it to my friends and husband as I have trouble opening up ..

First of all I had 3 miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy which resulted in me having my tube removed .. at 9/10 week .. was monitored all the way through first scan at 6 week said it was a pregnancy in an unknown location I had bloods done every 3 days and took them 3/4 week to find the foetus in my tube.. whilst they was operating they said my other tube is slightly blocked …

I can not tell you all how every month I convince my self there’s a line on that pregnancy test .. clearly not

Im 29 years old all my friends have kids and and is pregnant and I really can not be happy for them .. im such a crappy friend ..

I have been ttc for 4 years now and honestly feel like giving up and accepting the fact that it’s not gonna happen for me !!

Im sick of feeling like I do ..

Im sick of trying every month

I know no one will read this but still had to let it out 😢😢