I’m 20 and in my first ever proper relationship with my guy best friend (22y/o) who I’ve been fancying for the past 3 years. So, you already know how important and precious this relationship is to me.

Since we started as friends and got very close over time, I know him very well. I know all about his interests, what he doesn’t like, and all the trauma he went through in his past relationship. One of the traumas being how much he was forced into sexual stuff. He’s never literally said that he’s asexual, but it has been the topic of a lot of our conversations even before we started dating. And I’m terrified that I’d make him feel bad/guilty about it. The problem is that I’m an overly sexual person, which has been making me feel very ashamed. I’ve been finding it very difficult to get it across to him because I don’t wanna ever cross a line or make him feel uncomfortable. But I have these needs that I hate, and this need of feeling desired/needed that’s only accomplished by sex. The thing is, I’ve never properly asked for it because I know he’s asexual, but we’ve had some conversations about it and he’s happy to do anything I want to me, except sex. Which is absolutely fine, but it is also very difficult sometimes. I just don’t know how to communicate my thoughts and feelings about how guilty I feel for being fucking horny all the time.

Another thing that’s stuck on my mind is how he sometimes mentions he wishes he was “normal” in terms of his sexuality. He said this last night, and I can’t explain how heartbroken I felt. This man doesn’t even think he’s normal. And even though I tried to explain to him that all specialities are normal, and there’s nothing wrong or sad about being asexual, he was not convinced.

I just need advice guys.. I haven’t told him, but I love him so much and he’s the only reason I get up and fight my demons every day. He’s the only thing that’s keeping me going. So, you know, I love him and he means a great deal to me and I just want to know how I can make him feel normal about himself, and how to talk to him about my needs without making him feel guilty. Please share your experiences, and any advice you have; I’ll appreciate it greatly💕