So basically I’ll try to make this short, my uncle has had a big thanksgiving since I was small. Every year we all come together and see each other. I currently live 3 hours from my family so I don’t ever see them. Mg partners family was also having one. Now since there’s so much distance involved we had to come together and decide what to do. Seeing how much he really wanted to see his family I compromised and we said we’d go with his. He didn’t even notice any of that. Last night I stayed at his moms. She lives disgusting. Bugs everywhere house caving in. Since she wanted us to stay with her I did, I sucked it up for one night. I could have stayed home and drove up this morning and met his mother at the uncles house but I chose to make her happy and my partner and stayed at her house. I’m putting myself last on all these decisions I’m realizing because I want to make everyone else happy.

This morning we woke up ( I got no sleep there ) as you could imagine why. When my partner and I were packing our stuff Yesturday he told me “ dress normal just wear leggings jeans or a shirt or something nobody dresses too fancy” so I did, just Incase I packed a cute sweater shirt. Thankfully I did that because this morning as I was getting dressed my partner completely changed his words and got upset that I chose a shirt with leggings. I got upset bc he told me to grab that type of clothing! So then I put the sweater I brought thankfully he said “ it’s too long and flowy looks like an old grabdma shirt it’s ugly, I guess you have no choice but to wear the shirt which is gonna just look embarassing” I was TAKEN aback by this. He never cared what I looked like before! Ever. So the fact he just I felt degraded a little I got super anxious and I already was emotionally unstable bc of lack of sleep I just started uncontrollably crying. He was being so rude and disrespectful with his comments he kept making! Then he says “ you only brought your nikes?! Why couldn’t you bring your black boots at least” at that point his mom comes in, tells my partner to shut it basically, says the sweater is super cute and the shoes don’t matter since wel be taking shoes off when going into the uncles home. Then she tried shoving having a Xanax in my mouth telling me to just calm down over and over!!!!! In upset and your solution is making me take a Xanax?? Like I’m feeling very self conscious now I feel embarassed in a way. I’m unhappy that I did all this for him and his family when I much rather of wanted to be with my family where ID feel comfortable and loved, but me being me wanting to make everyone else happy I chose to make him happy by going to his uncles. And to be treated like that right before hurt my feelings. Then his step dad and my partner was rushing me out of the house. I had no time to even process! While we weee there at the uncles I felt so uncomfortable nobody was welcoming and talked to me at all. I feel like I should have just did what I wanted to do because I feel like today was just not a good holiday him and his family made me feel so shit. As we were at the uncles my partner gave me a beer and I said I didn’t wanna drink any and he got upset bc all his family was so I guess I was the odd ball out and it was “ embarassing” fast forward to now, we’re home and he’s playing his games as I’m trying to finish house cleaning. I messaged him and said “ after your game can we please talk?” I heard him go “ GOD” in a way like he was annoyed I even asked he came in the room and said “ what do you wanna talk about” in such a bad atrirude, I said Nevermind I feel shut down now how can I express my feelings when he made me feel so unsafe to talk to him now. He said “ why is it all you wanna do is ducking fight on my days off of work” me wanting to express mt feelings is not fighting? I’m currently just laying here crying as he went back to his game.

I desperately wish I went to my families house and been around people who loved me. Am I in the wrong? Did I do something wrong?