Recently I got a job offer closer to home, so I’ve temporarily been staying with my parents while my husband lives back home in our apartment until our lease is up.

Every weekend, I fly back home to see him. I always can’t wait and am super excited. Until I see that our apartment is completely trashed. Usually there’s trash everywhere. The coffee table is full of food, take out containers, snacks and everything he’s eaten for the week.

He usually doesn’t do the dishes for the entire week either, waiting for me to do them when I come home on Friday night. I also noticed when I opened the fridge that behind the food there was a thing of milk from September that I bought before I moved still in the fridge.

The worst part is that when getting into our bed, I noticed crumbs everywhere and laundry stuffed in the closet. I asked him when the last time he did laundry was and he told me he hadn’t washed the sheets or his clothes since I had washed them a month ago.

I just feel at a loss. I’ve told him multiple times that when I come home, I want to spend time with him, not be his maid. But if I don’t clean, the next week I visit it’s only worse because he just doesn’t clean. It wasn’t like this when we lived together, but it’s like something flipped once I moved out.

Today I spent 3 hours cleaning, vacuuming and mopping the apartment and doing dishes and had to take out three trash bags and haven’t even started on laundry yet. It’s hard to keep up since I’m diabetic and exhausted and work 10 hour days when I’m home.

How would you guys handle this?