So In the past partner and I had a toxic relationship. I first 2 years of the relationship. We have been together 6 years now. I had serious trauma and attachment issues from my past and he was the toxic narcissist one. We had a son together and for some reason Everytime he left me I always took him back. I had to really get some help and work on these issues I have, therapy has helped me tremendously.

I noticed he started changing and growing finally and our relationship was healthy and happy for a few years. He also got therapy and we worked on this together to overcome everything.

I never thought we’d get to this point. However within the last few months I noticed he didn’t want anything to do with me sexually. I tried and tried and tried and I was lucky if he had sex with me once or twice a month. I would always ask him for reassurance like is that due to stress? Hormone issues? Are you loosing feelings? Is it me? Like trying to figure out what the cause of the lack of sex was because he’s always been a very sexual man and his form of love is actually touch.he always told me he hasn’t lost feelings, he loves me, is in love with me, he’s just been super stressed with work and our home life, with kids it’s been chaos and I do understand that. It can be stressful working and then coming home and helping take on the kids etc. So this was a huge change but it made sense. We got into a small petty argument the other day, it blew up into something way more and I couldn’t even figure out why? All a sudden he’s “ unhappy “ and always have been in our relationship. I was blindsided because for years we have worked together to grow out of the toxic and learn to be healthy together and we were happy or so I thought? At least I was. He was on the phone with his mom and I over heard him saying he doesn’t have feelings for me I’m not affectionate enough, he needs someone who will have sex with him and touch him and make him feel excited and how he tries to feel that with me and I’m just always a problem, which again blind sided me more! I’ve been OVERLY affectionate I’ve been the one begging and trying to initiate sex for months, remember I’ve been asking reassurance if he has feelings I’ve asked him multiple times he always told me nothings changed now all a sudden I’m hearing this? Bc of trauma I think I’ve learned to shut down and put every gaurd up which is where I’m at mentally now. I remember when we broke up before ( during the first year when it was toxic ) he would sleep with multiple females in one week, yet I’ve done nothing but love this man and try and I don’t get the time of day for him to initiate sex or even try. Kids or not I think it opened my eyes that this isn’t something good for me. Nothing I do he clearly notices. I’m a stay at home mom, he provides financially for all of us, unfortunately I don’t have family. I feel stuck. Was this a trauma bond from the start? Was I delusional that people change? Is it time to walk away? I’ve stuck through the toxic I thought he was changed he got therapy and was growing! but I am learning everything he told me was lies if this is how he really feels? What do I do from here? Everything he told his mom he’s NEVER said to me even though I’ve tried to have conversations regarding it all. I’m so confused.