My friend from college lives across the county from me, but we’ve stayed in touch through the years over the phone. When we got pregnant around the same time (2019), we got even closer and started talking over the phone or text almost every day.

The entire time, she’s been married to a guy we both knew in college. Let’s call him Aaron and her Tracy.

Aaron is a creep. I didn’t like him in college when we were in our early 20s, and I don’t like him now. My entire friendship with Tracy, she’s complained about Aaron.

Aaron got arrested for “sexual assault” (I believe he raped someone whilst she was drunk, which is what the victim said, but Tracy doesn’t believe any of it) before we all graduated college. Because of this, Aaron never graduated. Today, Aaron is a manager at a big name supermarket chain. Tracy became a stay-at-home wife as soon as they got married, so she has never considered working. He barely makes any money and continually spends it on gaming supplies and porn subscriptions, leaving Tracy with like $200 some months to buy food for the family and pay her own bills. This shouldn’t be my business, but now it is because Tracy frequently asks me for money.

Last week Aaron was forced onto unpaid leave for sexual harassment at the supermarket. Tracy called me asking if I could help her with money in a pinch. She explained the situation, but once again took Aaron’s side, claiming the accuser was “obsessed with Aaron and unsolicitedly sent him naked pictures.”

This led to a massive disagreement with Tracy, because as her friend, I felt the need to have a “pull your head out of your ass” come-to-Jesus with her. She didn’t take it well. She started insulting my marriage and (my husband is battling cancer) said that if my husband wasn’t sick, he’d be talking to other women too.

I’ve started to ignore Tracy but she won’t get the hint. She keeps texting me paragraphs to “update” me about things she’s found on Aaron’s phone, how Aaron was watching porn while she was out, how Aaron wont give her money for groceries because they got into a fight, etc. Part of me feels like I need to be there for her, as Aaron is clearly abusive psychologically, financially and physically (she’s told me about several instances where he’s shoved her) but I’m also pretty tired of hearing about it.

My husband thinks I should just end my friendship with Tracy once and for all. I’m considering blocking her number, as I’m busy and don’t need the stress of her constant barrage. I also kind of want to let her know how disgusted I am with her behavior, how taken advantage of I’ve felt (over the past year, I’ve sent her over $4,000 for food and diapers when her husband won’t give her money) but isn’t it my fault too for letting her make me her fool?

When I weigh the pros and cons of my friendship with Tracy, I can’t think of many pros. We’re also in two totally different places in life, and I don’t want to be made to “feel bad” if I share any good things about my marriage or my finances just because she’s gotten herself into this mess of hers.

What do you guys think?