I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible. I’ll give more details if necessary. But my friend of several years has recently been starting huge arguments with me and another friend (especially me) over extremely minor disagreements. He’s made them unnecessarily personal, called me names, and said really hurtful things. After previous arguments I asked if there was a deeper issue, if there were any triggers I should avoid, etc. and he said there were none. I have tried to adapt to his sensitivity multiple times but it hasn’t helped.

In our last argument, he was deeply insulted because the other friend and I didn’t agree with him on his opinion. Imo it’s a laughably minor disagreement. My other friend mentioned that her baby niece was put on a diet by her pediatrician (meaning she was to stop drinking formula and instead only drink breast milk). My friend said a baby can’t go on a diet. She explained what she meant and he kept arguing that a baby can’t go on a diet. Eventually, he complained that we never listen to him or consider his feelings and called me manipulative for disagreeing.

He left the group chat and turned two separate discussions to try to resolve the issue into huge arguments. The other friend and I agreed that he was being toxic and blowing the situation out of proportion. I finally had enough and stopped talking to him. He sent a message to the group chat a week later in an attempt to work things out.

Part of his message read:

“I am a sensitive person. This is how I have been for as long as I've known myself. I also think it is in my nature to be unpredictable, maybe even impulsive at times. But that isn't something I feel like I need to apologize for because we all have things about us that aren't necessarily perfect. We are all terribly flawed individuals but no less deserving of love and understanding.”

He ended on “my hope at the end of the day, is to be better understood by the people I care about”.

That’s about as close as he got to apologizing in the whole long message. To me, it read like “yeah I’m sensitive and I blow up but it’s not my fault and nobody is perfect”. It seemed he wasn’t taking any accountability for his actions and it was still all about his feelings, he doesn’t see what he did wrong and doesn’t intend to change. I expressed that, and he said the fact that he acknowledged that he’s sensitive was him taking accountability, and that I should have known that his desire to improve was implied. He says this isn’t enough to end the friendship over and it doesn’t mean it can’t improve in the future. But his message seemed like he had no intention of changing and I’m tired of being the only one putting in effort to accommodate his feelings.

But now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole for not being receptive to his feelings. Is he right? Was that enough accountability? Should I give him another chance?

EDIT: Thank you so much for your advice everyone! You’ve helped me realize that I made the right decision in cutting him off. ❤️