We lost our 39 weeker after he was born on 10/26. We are thinking it was meconium aspiration although we don’t know for sure but of course I am taking this really hard. It was my first baby and before him I didn’t even think I could carry a baby. I have PCOS.

Anyways nights and mornings have been hard. It’s been getting better since I am no longer engorged and stopped pumping. Anyways my fiancé asked me what was wrong this morning and I said nothing but I was obviously a little sad. He responds back and says “Can you just have one good morning?” And it hurt my feelings now I’m wondering if I am taking too long to get over losing our baby? Should I be this sad a month later? I feel so alone on this journey.