My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have a son who is 3 yrs old. I’ve been in therapy for a year trying to improve myself and my husband just started his own journey with therapy a month ago. My main struggle has been lifting him up by using his love language - words of affirmation. Growing up my parents never really praised my brother or I for doing anything or even really our successes. They were busy focusing on their own work and expected chores to be done a certain way at home but my mom was harsh and judgmental, not optimistic or encouraging. I’ve identified that some of that has rubbed off on me and am trying to break that cycle. My husband frequently says I do not respect him but I think the issue is also I don’t praise him enough. I tend to revert back to Acts of Service bc that’s how I was taught to show I care. I know that part of it is we need to have more date nights away but we have no family nearby for support and everything falls on me to plan things plus try and find a sitter. The sitter part has been hard bc I get nervous leaving our son with essentially a stranger. My MIL said she over praised my husband growing up to counter the verbal abuse his dad put on him. I just wonder if I will ever be able to match the amount of praise she still gives him to this day. When she visits she makes a big deal about literally everything he does from meals he makes to how he lives his life. Has anyone had to navigate this type of situation and knows of some positive ways I can be better at providing the encouragement he needs. It’s hard for me to praise things like watching our son while I go to an appt bc he’s a parent too and not a paid babysitter. I do thank him when he cooks dinner and stuff like that but I thought we were doing better lately and suddenly he just blew up on me last night suggesting I’ve been delusional. I’m trying to be better but it’s not going to be a quick fix. I also wish he would be more patient with me and have asked him to mention in the moment when I make a comment he dislikes so I can try to correct it but he says that’s not his job and I shouldn’t be asking him to help me change.