TTC venting

I f.u.c.k.i.n.g hate TTCing with fertility issues.

I know I have my handsome, perfect, rainbow son but we went through a lot of heart break, tears and years to have him. And now I feel like I'm right back to that place of fear, anger and resentment of myself that I was at trying to have him!

I'm sick of getting my hopes up every month even though I've gotten to the point where I tell myself not to get my hopes but somehow hope always sneaks back in, in that tww.

I'm sick of the tww always ending in me feeling like thee biggest piece of crap because yep, there we have it again..a negative test.

I'm depressed. I feel alone even though I know I'm not. All I want to do is cry and give up but my heart won't let me