Almost 3 years married with a 11 month old.

Currently we are house sitting for my in laws and renting our house out for 2 years while they work away. They are currently home for a month and we only have a week left of all living together.. I never disliked his mother, I really loved her and I don’t have a relationship with mine so I loved how close we were, but these last few weeks have just done something to my love for her son. (Since she almost divorced her hubby a year ago, she has acted really strange towards me, I even tried to call her a few months after they *potentially* split to catch up and see how she was and she declined my call, never rang back and I didn’t speak to hear until she came home 4 months later. Ever since it has been so weird between us.

Fast forward to now.

She makes little comments to me that are like little digs, I always talk to my husband about it in private but she is always nice as pie to me infront of him and my father in law which head fucks me even more. But for the last 3 weeks, I have started to feel like I don’t wanna be involved with my husband or his family anymore. We are currently trying for our second baby and I have this urge to no longer want anymore children with him.. usually I can’t wait to come home and see him but the other night when I was at my sisters house, I found myself making excuses as to why I didn’t wanna go home.

I love him, but the last few months we have started to drift a little, I can’t even explain what has changed, but in these few weeks his parents have been home, it’s like my eyes have been opened to the arrogance his family have and I no longer want to be apart of it. We recently enrolled our 11 month old daughter in day care so I could continue running my business 2 days a week, and his nan made a comment that I only did it because “I’m sick of her”.

My husband also made a comment that he thought I wanted to put her in daycare was so I can get a break from her. (No shame I understand babies are hard work, but my reason was to return to work and continue running my brand new business that was taking off like wildfire)

I cried for a week after those comments because it was like a knife to my chest, his mum knows about the comment and hasn’t said a word. His family has a strong dislike for daycare. My daughter came home sick from daycare last week and they haven’t stopped talking about “well this is what’s gunna happen unless you pull her out”. And it’s only when I cuddle her and say “poor darling your not feeling well” do they repeat the quote. Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s gunna get sick, it’s bound to happen. Also, it’s her birthday party this weekend and I got some decorations today and my MIL said to my daughter “oh I think mummy just wants to have the party more for herself and not you, mummy likes to party”. Huh? And then when I was making sugar cookies tonight, she gazed at them and goes “ha, shame she won’t remember any of this” (I swear if you could see the smirk she does when she makes these comments)

Also had a wedding of a close friend last week and we were in conversation about what I was planning to wear, whenI explained that my dress never arrived and I needed to pull something else together, and her response was “well lucky it’s not about you hey”. And that’s obvious, because duh of course it’s about the bride and groom, by my point is that she always is mid convo with me and seems interested and we’re bonding then she ends the convo and goes and does something else. Last week she told me she got offended when I said while unpacking groceries “oh stupid me I forgot the strawberries” and gave me a huge lecture about how I talk and I need to be more positive to myself.

Like fuck me I was honestly just saying I forgot strawberries, but later in the night my hubby was rolling his eyes at her for something she said and even said “mum don’t be so stupid” yet she giggles and cuddles him. If I said that she would poke my eyes out.

hubby doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t see her make these comments and I don’t wanna cause something out of nothing if I’m just being sensitive, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I no longer feel drawn to my husband like I used to be. After 27 years I finally cut my alcoholic narcissist mother off to me, and it look me months to grieve our relationship and I’ve grown so much from the hurt, and I almost feel like the way my MIL makes sly comments make me feel like I’m at the point in my life that I don’t want to be involved with anyone that’s going to make me feel like my mum did. Sometimes my husband says “that’s just mum though”. And it’s not like I’m even angry he excuses it, I just don’t feel like I wanna be around him either now.

Why is my mother in laws actions causing me to get the ick from my husband?