There is this guy at work and I’m not sure if I’m the one reading into things or if my body is picking up on something that’s actually there. A few days back he was angry and I impulsively hugged him, and he expressed how it was the best part of his day, he was happy and sort of giggly about it and even sent me a voice note telling me how special it was because the hug came from genuine love and care. He liked it when I said he looked cute in a hat and he asked me what about it is cute and when I described it, and he said hell do it more often now. Sometimes it almost feels like he wants me to praise him. He is kind of famous so he was called on a tv show and he wanted me to see his video and it felt like he expected me to say something. The most significant occurrence was when I was upset regarding workplace toxicity and he ordered food for me. We sat to eat but right before eating, he told me to sit beside him and he put his arms around me expressing in a low voice how I am important at work but important to him on a personal note as well as if I leave, he would feel sad and lost. He said he is not ready for me to leave him. Also, he normally doesn’t come to my house but when my cat passed away he came home. He’s always being there in desperate times. Despite all this, he sometimes becomes neutral or disappears. I believe that when you like someone you want to be in contact with them a lot of the times. This confuses me. He also seeks grounding in me, he came to sit beside me at the end of a big event for a minute and even randomly texted me when I got home after the event, just updating me how he got home late and he went for dinner. The next day he expressed that he did both these things to feel grounded.

My therapists insight: he knows exactly what he’s doing when he’s being there for me in times of need. And that something is happening subconsciously at his end. And as soon as things become real, he backs off or isn’t up for a commitment. She says I’m not confused, but I am carrying his confusion because he seems confused. And that she’s curious about what’s going on at his end. She also said he’s ready to receive the unconditional acceptance that I give him. What does everyone else think? I need perspective