11 weeks 3 days pregnant. 2nd pregnancy. I have a soon to be 3 year old. Zero issues with the first pregnancy.

I went to my appointment yesterday and they couldn’t find the heartbeat on the Doppler, the doctor kept saying “I’m sure nothing is wrong, I’m sure your not miscarrying, sometimes you can’t pick up the heartbeat till later on”. She was freaking me out because my anxiety has been making me think since the beginning is that something is wrong and I’ve been in denial about being pregnant. So she had me do a vaginal ultrasound. Found baby and heartbeat. But baby was barely making movements which kinda worried me. Doctor said everything is fine. I have an anterior placenta so when she did the Doppler all we heard was my heartbeat. She said there’s a great blood supply because of it. I don’t know I’m just nervous and freaking out still. I’m not telling anyone I’m pregnant because I’m nervous.

Side note. I don’t know if social media is influencing my anxiety because all I see on TikTok is “I lost my baby before it was born” stillbirths, miscarriages, SIDS. I know they are all sharing their stories and want to make people aware but you don’t see the success stories as much as you see the sad stories. And seeing these moms I start to compare myself like okay she’s a smoker or she drinks or she didn’t know she was pregnant for a while so she didn’t get prenatal care early on or a genetic disorder runs in her family or she’s had kids with disabilities before. And I go down my list and compare like ok well I don’t smoke. I found out at 4 weeks and have been to the doctors, I had a healthy first pregnancy etc.

Sorry for the rant of if I triggered anyone.

You can tell me I’m crazy as well.