is it me?

so i had a traumatic time last year in relationships, developed some trust issues etc.

but it’s been MONTHS since i’ve had sex and am desperate to get back on the horse

the first guy i almost slept with, and we were both pretty drunk and messed up and he couldnt get it up all good move on (then oh wait, his GIRLFRIEND he failed to mention was messaging me all morning telling me about their son and asking what happened - that was horrible)

THEN tonight, a guy came over, we were kissing and i was almost naked! like my bra half on thats it and then he like pulled away from me - he came in his pants before we even had sex

dying and desperate bros, should i just be celibate forever?