Am I overreacting?

Question

I told my mom explicitly many times to not kiss my baby (4 months old) for hygiene purposes and it also just grosses me out. I have many bad memories of her making me kiss her on the cheek and lips and it makes me feel so so gross because I didn’t feel like I had a choice when I was little (and I didn’t want to). She also used to tickle and bite me a lot, she literally chased me around the house and did this to me on her bed and I screamed for my brother to help me get away but my mom took it all as a big joke and didn’t stop until I was old enough to physically stop her. She is a school superintendent (for little kids) so I always figured she was right to do this to me (obviously she wasn’t). 
As LO gets older I’ve stated noticing more concerning things she does. She seems to be getting more confident about her actions. Yesterday she was sitting with my baby and she kissed him on the top of his head. I was shocked and immediately said something like ‘you cannot kiss LO, you just kissed him’ and she said ‘no I didn’t’ and acted all surprised. She also started to poke and tickle him and when I told her to stop, she asked why, I explained (bc even though he’s a baby he probably does not enjoy that; he just can’t control his arms enough to swat her away) and she rolled her eyes and disagreed but she did stop. 
How seriously should I take all of this? Am I just being an overly cautious FTM? She’s also made comments in front of me about biting his legs, and when I told her she can never do that she told my infant son that mommy needs to leave him alone with grandma for a while. 
Up until these comments and kiss, she was our only trusted babysitter. But now I don’t want to leave LO alone with her anymore. Am I overreacting? Is a kiss on the head no big deal if LO Is already 4 months old/is this it’s normal grandma behavior?
She is amazing with LO otherwise, he smiles bigger when he sees her than when he sees me. He’s obsessed with her. These physical oversteps just started within the last week (he’s 4 months old) so I don’t know if he understands or cares.u

Answer

Kissing, tickling and play-biting are normal ways of showing affection and totally appropriate for a mother/child or grandmother/grandchild.
At the same time, I by no means intend to invalidate your feelings about the situation. You may not like these expressions of affection, and that's fine. Everyone has a different tolerance for these things. Maybe you should have an honest conversation with your mom about your boundaries and how you remember feeling as a child.
For your baby, if they're reacting positively to these signs of affection, there is no reason to assume that they don't like it. Most babies enjoy being kissed and tickled by loved ones. We're not talking about a stranger here. Let your baby lead the way here. If they start crying or show discomfort at the tickling and kissing, by all means stop it. But if not, let him enjoy those grandma snuggles.

Answer

I don’t think you’re overreacting but I think that your reaction is more based on your own childhood memories. A kiss on top of the head isn’t super agressive, what’s more worrying is that she would try to deny it when you explicitly told her not to for hygiene purposes. Although if she is your trusted babysitter then she probably does kiss him when you’re not there. And it is hard to resist kissing a baby especially your beloved grandson. Not sure what advice to give that sounds hard but it seems you maybe need to untangle your personal feelings about your mums physical affection from the actual health aspects. 4 months he’s starting to be not such a newborn anymore so it’s less risky health wise…

Answer

A kiss on the head, tickling a baby’s belly and even play biting their legs is all really normal for close family members. 
I think the bigger issue is how you felt as a child and when that kind of play became too much. Have you spoken with your mom specifically about how you felt as a child and connected it with your boundaries around your son today? She may have learned how to have healthier boundaries with kids since your childhood and isn’t planning on going as far with your son as she did with you. If she hasn’t, now is a good time to bring it up.

Answer

I didn’t allow tickling kissing hugging holding etc. unless my child (even as a baby) indicated he wanted to do that. So my mom would hold her arms out for him but if he turned away, she wasn’t allowed to hold him. To me, it’s about consent and respect. And I was very clear that if this boundary wasn’t respected then we would be rude about enforcing it. I also was chased and tickled as a kid and it was terrifying to me. Laughter is not always a happy thing. Many people laugh when they’re panicking. Not respecting when someone says “stop” is not ok and I absolutely won’t allow that to happen to my kid.

Answer

Soooo I don't think you are overreacting for the most part. The kissing, hell no... stop kissing babies that aren't yours people!! But the tickling, idk yes he's a baby but if he's not crying then I wouldn't say he probably doesn't like it and just can't swat her away. I do think what she did to you growing up wasn't okay and that is worrying you, AS IT SHOULD. Behavior like that is from the person and she could very well do it again. My suggestion, and this is only based on if you think you both can handle it in a mature manner is... you two need to talk. You need to talk to her about how growing up she did this, did that, and you didn't like that. Then carry that on into how that's why you want to refrain from ANYONE, not just her doing it to your kiddo since at this time he cannot speak for himself on what he likes and doesn't like. 
If she takes offense and goes ridiculous, that's on her. But I personally feel you need to open up and talk to her. She may have meant no harm at all but needs to know the behavior was uncomfortable for you and how it has made you feel. So she knows.

Answer

I agree with others. Your own childhood experiences are leading you to protect him and that’s okay. You have the final say in what happens to your kid and everyone else needs to respect that even if they don’t agree. Her reactions would annoy me to no end. The eye rolling especially. 
She doesn’t respect your boundaries never has. She couldn’t see how you didn’t like it. 
I too hated being tickled as a child. I hated how everyone always had their hands on me and I thought I had to allow it even though I didn’t like it at all. I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband tickles my son and he tells him to stop but he won’t, I start to flip out and say “he said stop, so stop it!” But then my son immediately asks for more tickles so he does like it, but my own experiences told me to flip out the second I thought he didn’t want it. We want to protect our kids. Understandable.

Answer

I would be most annoyed with the kissing thing especially if you have already expressed why you don’t like it. No one would be allowed to kiss my baby except me and my husband, I have firm beliefs on that. 
As for the tickling, I do think you are over reacting just a little, unless he is showing signs of being in pain or crying. I have never met a baby that didn’t break into a giggle fest while being tickled.

Answer

what does lo mean?🤔

Am I overreacting?

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