I thought I knew heartbreak. This is another level. I’ve only been TTC for 5 cycles tracking for 3. The first 2 I tracked my period came the day after I peaked. I’ve busted ass learning to track, temp, chart old school. Managed to regulate my cycle with diet, exercise, supplements, and progesterone lotion. Finally just had my first “normal” cycle and my partner was not here for me. He’s claimed to want this as badly as I do and has been fully aware of my tracking and that we needed to BD the last 3 nights. We BD’d late at night on the 27th (day 12 1 before peak) and midday on the 29th but he only came a little 🙄 since then he’s been running around spending time and energy on everything but getting me pregnant. Rushing to another state to see a friend in the hospital, starting WWIII with his mom and being too angry/upset to BD when he got back. Buying a new computer and setting it up before passing out and expecting me to cuddle while ovulating my brains out. And of course we couldn’t BD tonight bc he chewed his fingernails after working with bleach and messed up his stomach. But he’s well enough to drag me to this concert I don’t care about tomorrow night and only agreed to go bc he was going either way. I do feel bad for being like hey we need to BD while he wasn’t feeling good but Jesus fuck man you had one job. Can’t wait to spend 5 hours in the car doing my best to not cry. I’m a Scorpio nothing gets to me but blowing this window has me crushed. I’m 32 and on meds that are known to make conceiving and carrying to term risky. No I don’t have the resources or time to get all the way off I’m slow tapering. To me there’s no time to waste when it comes to my fertility. I have a 3 YO daughter I’m desperate to give her a sibling being an only child in my family is a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. If I can even get pregnant. Knowing that there isn’t even hope for this cycle is soul crushing. I feel like I’m never going to get a BFP 😣 I love my partner there’s no one else for me and I know he desperately wants a child but I have a feeling this is going to be a recurring theme. Anyone dealing with a similar situation? Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out and I NEVER cry