How do you deal with disrespect from family

So with conditional love it's like I love you but you have to behave well make me proud, you have to clean the house for me, you have to get a college degree, you have to do achievements for me to want to talk to you did you study for the exam did you pass did you get the job do you have your license etc.

So I'm the youngest of the family and I'm noticing these things and I feel like I'm spoken to like I'm ignorant and treated like a child and it's a lot of disrespect and a huge hit for my self esteem self confidence, If I have a problem and I discuss it the actual problem is turned around that it's my problem and my fault and these things weigh on me how my family sees me treats me

I wanted to know how do you establish yourself and get respect and how does your family, relative's treat you