Background information:

I dont have a soul to talk so please help..

Firstly when hes in a good mood and everything going well I'm the happiest I've been in my life in a relationship we have the nest laugh the best sex snd when he in a good mood he can make me feel amazing. I think my problem is non of my previous relationships have been good either and I watched my mum stand by someone still to this day that has been awful to her since she was 16 always says she loves him and hes a good guy really just got a temper . I love this man so much but I cannot imagine life without him and I hate myself for that because he does nothing in the relationship I'm his cleaner cook I lay his clothes out at night for him so I dont wake up with anxiety that he cant find something in his wardrobe and then that spirals.

Anger: (I wont go to the police or anything I just need to get out) so he just cant control it when the slightest thing goes wrong it is always my fault and hes not hit me ive been hit in previous relationship and I think that why I struggle to see that it still not right just cause he isn't closed fist punching me. He has still pulled me off the bed with so much force i went head first into the wall and my legs folded behind.me and ever since the middle of my back has hurt, he slapped me once for shouting back at him, he put his head phones on whilst we was talking and I pulled them off and he ran at me and headbutted me in the stomach, he threw handfuls of playing cards at my face so hard one scratchd my eye and then when I was yelling that it hurt he rammed his finger in my mouth to be quiet and resulted in busting my lip.

As well as that the things he says to me in anger makes me feel the lowest of lows and he tears me apart says things like hed rather be with that woman anyway. If hes home when I getout of bed I have horrific anxiety sweat but I dont if hes left for work or gym.

Trust issues: when we first got together a girl messaged me to say hed been at hers having a chat and he was sleeping with her before we got together and he told me he was at work. I forgave and forgot as we had just got together and he said he was cutting ties and she seemed upset. Then there was all the girls pictures he was liking that all had massive boobs and I'm really insecure cause I'm an A cup lol. Then I went on his phone a few times (yes not a great thing to do I know) and every time he had been messaging g a female when he promised hed always tell me if a women messaged him. Most recently was the worst and I'm not able to forget it as he was commenting on a girls photo and then added her on snapchat and started calling her a milf. I've asked to go on his phone and it ends up in an argument that I should just trust him etc. And since I went on it before he changed his password and deep down I k ow im not being stupid but I've got no proof and he makes me feel crazy.

How do I end it without feeling scared and to stick to it?