It's been 8 freaking months since my last miscarriage which means this is the month our last baby was supposed to be born. I had three very early miscarriages three months in a row, I was convinced I was super fertile or something since I got pregnant three months in a row but after that it's now been 8 months. So much has happened in these months. I've got married to my husband, moved back across the country and switched jobs and got our own place that we are still fixing up. You'd think I'd be happy but our babies left me with such a big hole in my heart. Google says like 80% get pregnant after trying for 6 months. It sucks to know I'm part of the 20% that hasn't.. Because I'm also the 1% of people that has recurrent miscarriage. I'm part of 1% of people. That's not a lot of people. I'm a young woman ttc as well so it's like well if I was in my late 20s to mid 30s I could understand things start to slow down eventually but I'm younger. My sister in law is underaged and found out she's pregnant with a guy she only dated for 2 months. Not judging it's just it doesn't feel fair. I've had a hard time coping with that. I thought we would have a baby first and give my in laws their first grandchildren. I wanted that so so SO bad. We were going to, we should have but I lost our babies. I feel like it's all my fault. I dread taking pregnancy tests to wake up to another not pregnant. When I one day do maybe get a positive test I think I'm going to lose it again. Not trying to bring the mood down but really I do. I can't handle another loss. Everytime I miscarry it's so early that it's just been a few days maybe a week since my first got a positive test. My husband and I are ready and want this so bad I just feel lost. Every month it's the same thing.