Hi everybody! This week I have the end of the year party for my work and although I am still at maternity leave, I was planning to attend to meet my work friends. This is going to be my first night out since I delivered the baby and I think I will be away from my baby from 530 PM until 1030 PM.

I was so excited to go to this but now it is 230 am and I am awake terrified thinking about giving up going.

My baby is exclusively breastfed and I am afraid of nipple confusion. She took a bottle for a couple weeks at the beginning because I had to supplement and it was such a hard journey to start having her feeding directly from the breast.

I am afraid she won’t take the bottle. I am afraid she will and then start refusing my breast. I am afraid she will cry during all the time I will be away.

I was so excited about going out and I even got a new outfit. My feelings are all over the place right now.

I was feeling so prepared to go back to work and now I can’t even imagine staying five hours away from my baby 😭