How to stop constantly checking for blood?

Maybe it’s embarrassing… or even TMI but I’m 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant today after 4 miscarriages in the last one year and a half. I constantly reach down to check for blood. Like it became second nature. If I feel something wet, I freak out… check immediately and then sigh in relief. How to stop? Is anyone else this paranoid? I want to enjoy my pregnancy not live in total fear for the next 9 months.. 🥲