I can’t believe I bumped into my ex randomly in London!?

I’m in so much shock, did this happen for a reason?

An impossible thing happened tonight

In march this year, my ex boyfriend (30 M) broke up with me out of the blue. We had a great relationship over 8 months, up to the point I realised I was doing all the work. He said he dated me out of loneliness and he never fell in love and that really hurt me.

I was devastated and confused.

I had this plan that if I ever came across him again, I would tell him all the things he did to upset me. Obviously that was a fantasy as…

I moved away and started a new life and job, and we never spoke again. I assumed I would never ever bump into him again complete no contact. It made me feel very sad because he stayed friends with all his previous exes, so I took this personally.

This evening, I was travelling to London as it’s my birthday so I was going to see my friend. My train into London was delayed by 30 mins and when I got to the underground stop, I had just missed a train. So I was stood waiting on the platform.

All of a sudden, my ex walks round the corner. This is completely unusual as we both didn’t even live in London and were both just visiting.

He looked tearful, hugged me. We talked for half an hour, turned out we were visiting friends in the same area. He told me he wasn’t having a good time, hated his job, hated where he lived, had nowhere to go for Christmas, it was all quite negative. He still had the same low wage job that he had when we were together which surprised me and he had put on a lot of weight. Whilst I was extremely positive, telling him about my new job, new life in a different city. I told him I had just travelled straight from a work training course. I was relieved too as I was dressed nicely, my hair was good and I felt confident, a lot of men were smiling at me as I walked past.

I told him that I was very hurt from the breakup. He said ‘it was never anything bad.’ Whatever that means? He also said to me ‘you look good,’

I think from nerves I rambled on about some random things, I hope that wasn’t weird. I realised I was very friendly, and nice to him. He hugged me and we left each other. I felt it was all very mature

But I’m completely shocked how low the chances of that happening were. I’m not very spiritual, but weirdly I feel like that interaction was supposed to happen?

I did feel a little disappointed that he didn’t ask me many questions about my life, I feel like he really must not care about me. He didn’t even realise it was my birthday. But maybe that interaction is what I needed to move on

*tldr

London is such a big city, I’ve never bump into anyone I know, there is 8 million people there*

376 views • 1 upvote • 13 comments

COMMENT (13)

Ri

Posted at
So sometimes people come into our lived for a season or lesson. Maybe before it was a season and today was a lesson. You made it despite a heartbreak. You are thriving. You are excelling. You are desired.Now when you look back you don't have to wonder what could have been. I am proud you didn't get angry. I have a feeling that wouldn't be normal for you and would have caused you more strife. You had pride in your self. Happy birthday and remember he's an ex for a reason so don't sweat it. Happy trip around the sun.

Li

Lily • Dec 12, 2022
He forgot your birthday. I know that it sucks. Sometimes forgetting birthdays is innocent. It took my two years to remember the date of my husband’s birthday without asking him and that was because my brother got married on his birthday so it became easier to remember. If the relationship wasn’t important him, your guy didn’t make remembering your birthday a priority, especially since you weren’t talking to each other. I don’t remember the birthdays of every ex. Why should I? They’re not important in my life. This encounter sounds like you might have gotten some closure, which is good.

mu

mu • Dec 11, 2022
It’s definitely not a sign to get back together. If it means anything at all other than a coincidence, it’s to teach you to move on. He’s still stuck in the same place, you are growing, he didn’t even remember your birthday, he already told you he didn’t love you. He said he was bored and that’s why he was with you. None of that changes just because you saw him again and had a decent conversation where the “vibe” was still there. You’re going to meet a lot of people in life who give you similar feelings, it’s just apart of life. It’s heartbreaking, but necessary for you to grow. You will be loved properly one day, maybe it will or won’t work out, but it’ll happen, probably more than once or twice, but you can never go backwards because it only leads to heartbreak, and you’ll think to yourself “I should have listened the first time” One time I got back with an ex (who years later and to this day I still hold deep longing for), we broke up and he worked so hard to get me back but once he did he realized I was right about everything I broke up with him for the first time, we just didn’t work. It hurt way more this way. We loved each other, but it didn’t work. Took me a long time to realize that, that’s okay. I will hold a special place in my memories for the people who don’t stay in my life for long, always going to love them, dosent mean I should be near them. Just a small example of my life that I hope helps.

Mo

Mommaof4 • Dec 11, 2022
Notice how his birthday comment was all about HIM and how it made HIM feel. Passive receiver.

Su

Posted at
I remember your previous posts. You did not have a great relationship and he admitted he was with you because he was bored and lonely knowing no one else since he had recently moved there. If it's a sign of anything take it as it was the right decision, although hurtful at the time. You've moved up and on. He hasn't. Why would you even want him back?

Mo

Posted at
The only purpose it’s serves is to show you that he’s still a loser 🤷‍♀️

Ja

Posted at
It is not a sign it is just pure coincidence. Don't go back into a situation were you were already unhappy to begin with. He didn't even show enoug interest to ask how you are doing or congratulate you to your birthday after you reminded him. Let him go he is not worth your time or energy. Also you are doing so much better without him why would you want to change that and let him drag you down. You said it right there are 8 million people in London there surely must be a better one for you. And once you stop obsessing over this guy you will find others attractive again. I don't know what you are hanging on to. He wasn't nice to you, he is super selfish and just not a good guy. Put some value on yourself you are worth more than that, way more.

Je

Posted at
Could it be possible that he has been stalking you and followed you there??

Lo

LovelyRose x • Dec 11, 2022
There’s no way he would know that I was going down to London though? It’s just complete coincidence I think. I hope it’s not a sign we should get back together or something, our connection and vibe was still there as we chatted

Mo

Posted at
I totally believe things like this arent just a coincidence. You were meant to bump into each other. But I dont think it's so you get back together. I think it was a learning experience. I feel like he lives life passively. He goes through the motions and isnt happy, but isnt taking the initiative to then improve things. Maybe hes depressed. But then he took it like he just never fell for you (passive recipient, things happening to him) vs maybe he didnt actually invest in you enough to fall for you, or hes just unhappy in general so he broke up with you for not making him happy, but thats because hes just unhappy with himself and his life and no one but him can fix that. So hes stuck, meanwhile youre growing. Maybe this is what you needed to move on. And hopefully it's what he needs to pull himself together and actively create the life he wants vs being passive.

Mo

Mommaof4 • Dec 11, 2022
Dear, I dont think youre fully understanding... hes incapable of really loving because love isnt about a feeling you either have or you dont. People fall in love because the initial attraction prompts them to ACT and INVEST in the other person. He maybe had the initial attraction with you, maybe it was even very strong, but then he never invested in you because hes so passive, he just wont take the action steps to actively invest in you and likely anyone else and therefore transition from liking someone to real love. He doesnt even know your birthday. He didnt ask about you. That is why. Hes a passive recipient. If hes a lump on a log waiting for things to just come to him and happen for him, he will at most selfishly receive someone else's efforts and stay with them for that reason, but he will never really love the other person if he wont put forth the effort. This isnt about you being unloveable or unworthy, or him 'realizing' he loves you. He has a character flaw of passive living. Thats why youve now seen him all this time later and hes still stagnant in every area of his life. The problem is him. Until he fixes this character flaw in general in his life, again I think the most he will ever do is receive another person's efforts and stay with them to receive that, but he wont really love her back in the full sense. You deserve better.

Lo

LovelyRose x • Dec 11, 2022
Do you think he’s probably thinking about me after that interaction? I mean he’s probably quite shocked too? It’s just sad as I tried my best to make him happy in the relationship, but he never did anything for me. I’m so shocked that he’s still in the same situation as when we broke up. I’m also worried that now he’s going to start messaging me or something, I do miss him in some ways, but he is very passive in life. I don’t know how anyone lives like that, it’s easy to make changes to your life.I hope it doesn’t mean I’m unlovable since no one has ever loved me, and I keep thinking of anyones going to love me, it would have been him, he was so into me in the beginning and seemed so so happy. Then he defo got depressed but I took it personally as being unlovable. Can an interaction like this make a man realise he loves you?