I need advice, thoughts, sense, therapy and prayers w this lol i’ve been racking my brain for days to try and see my boyfriends point of view but it just doesn’t make sense. Anyways we’ve been together for 2 years almost and in our first year of dating he had this female friend from School who was some kind of weird dancer chick who he said was really there for him in high school so they’re good friends. FAIR right - so I didn’t think anything of it. Anyways I had some kind of hunch or feeling about something to do with her one of my friends mentioned she’s very out there to which I later found out they slept together during high school. A past is a past so I also think- hmm that’s fair.

Here’s where it gets strange - one day he was at my place and forgot his apple watch at my place and me and my hunch couldnt help but to have a sus through his messages… I found messages of them organising to catchup per say or go to the gym together- which again- fair. However what really broke me was that he almost hid it from me and I had no knowledge of him seeing her or catching up with her.. i feel like out of respect for me- his gf i should atleast get a text saying “hey b just wanted to let you know i’m meeting blah blah in the afternoon tomorrow” or something of that sort. Him never saying that he was physically keeping in touch w her made me feel so disrespected as a gf and left in the dark and suppressing those kind of small things led me to slowly start to trust him less. I even found out at one point he went to her place and I was wondering why he was in such a far away area on his snap maps and it was because he was either at her place or hanging around there a side note : at this time she was broken up with her most recent bf

So then after a while she ended up moving far away and he naturally isnt keeping in touch with her suddenly LOL some kinda friendship if u dont maintain it while theyre living elsewhere- mad sus.

Anyways fast forward to now and his best friends younger sister- shes only a few years younger than him maybe 20

And she comes over tohis place and supposedly stays the night in a different room. Another night she was over at his place i happened to facetime hom and shes in his bed…. And hes sitting on his chair that he plays playstation on and they’re supposedly watching a movie… in his room - not the living room or anything lol. He seems a bit caught off guard but proceeds to flip the camera on her and says “say hi” and i’m just sitting there thinking WTF. I dont wanna overstep and be like causing a scene since theyre “friends” as ive been told many a time as I don’t wanna be seen as THAT KINDA GF. like… i’m A BADDIE, i’m FINE ASF AND I KNOW ITT so i have no reason to be insecure and i aint jealous of her at all but i have a reason to be pissed if i feel like i’m being disrespected. Your bed is a personal space .. which u share intimacy w with your partner. If that isnt an overstep idk what is like come on you should know better.

So then the following week shes out in the city drinking on a random tuesday night and hes supposedly always too tired from work and gym to ever do anything let alone facetime me before he sleeps. He drives AN HOUR to go pick her up and an hour to drop her home from the city. Now i’m all for females being safe when theyre out but he has never ever picked me up when ive been out drinking all the way from the city. So at this point i’m extra annoyed.

I’m visibly being more distant while i’m texting him throughout the week and trying to suppress how upset i feel but i wanted to wait it out so i’m not jumping in and looking crazy. So I had a night out planned weeks ago which he offered / agreed to pick me up from the bus stop from. Which is 5 mins from my house mind you. The day of I messaged alluding to the fact that i was wondering it her would be willing to drive directly to the city to get me. That whole night and following morning i did not get one message or reply from him..

I finally confront him and say i feel second to that friend girl and he didnt even message to check on me like he used to and how i feel like crap because hes making me feel like he doesnt care about me anymore.

He replies basically saying its unfair to accuse him of that and its all not true - essentially not taking any accountability for how he made me feel and like spinning it onto me .

I need any thoughts comments and advice bc i’m genuinely upset and i still havent replied because i’m trying to wrap my head around his side and point of view but i’m struggling to because none of it makes sense - he has point blank made me as his gf feel disrespected and hes not owning any part of it. Do I reply ?? Honestly after this being like the second time something lf this sort has happened i’m ready to throw in the towel… i feel like i’m trying to resonate with a brick wall