Is it just a desire to have babies? Or am I really running out of time to have babies? I'm only 28. But ever since last year, I've felt a shift. Every month, I desire more and more to have children. When my period comes, the sadness, dread, and emotional numbness sets in..

Every month this seems to get worse.

My partner says we're not ready for kids yet. We aren't married, I'd like to be married before having kids, but i feel like the longer I wait, the less time there is for me to have kids. I guess for further context, we live together, we're not engaged. Been together 4 years now.

We aren't even trying to have kids. He plays around with the idea but we aren't actively trying. But I want to try. I want to get a chance. To see a positive test. To be pregnant. To know the love a parent has for their child. To watch my partner be a dad. To watch my kids grow up and start a family of their own.

I feel lost, I feel like the only one - even though I'm not the only one.

I want kids more than anything. But I feel like I running out of time with each passing month.

End of rant.