So I just feel like sharing this because I do.

So this happened a few years ago. I had been with my ex for years so I wasn’t mortified like I would have been had it been someone else.

We were having sex and I was ontop. Well, I got a really bad cramp and jumped. What I didn’t realize is we were already half way off the bed, so when I jumped I flew off the bed. “Oh haha you landed in the floor haha.”

No. I landed on the cat, which immediately jumped and screamed and jumped onto the tall antique glass floor lamp while running for its life trying to avoid being crushed by my fat ass, and that lamp fell over, hit the headboard and BUSTED glass all over my ex boyfriend and I.

So there us lay, butt ass naked and covered in glass.

I’m so confused, it’s dark, I said “wot in the fock.” My ex boyfriend is like 😲

Just dumbfounded as fuck.

You know that sound affect in cartoons when someone throws something out of frame and you hear glass shattering, shit breaking and a cat screaming?

That’s what it would have sounded like to hear us F*CK from the other room that night.

We had to get up very carefully and be meticulous about cleaning glass out of the bedding. After the glass was cleaned up we laughed it off. Nobody was hurt. The cat included. My wrist hurt for a few days from landing on it but it was fine.

Shit lives rent free in my head