Hi guys, I know this sounds petty and I feel genuinely horrible but I just wanted to see if anyone has been in similar situations and how they’ve handled it.

Backstory: my husband and I have struggled with miscarriage. His family knew about this. Finally, I made it to 20 weeks with my baby boy. I have to say first and foremost, his family has been pretty amazing. My SIL (his brothers wife) comforted me through MC, reminded me to have faith during this pregnancy now, and even has come with me to appointments when my husband couldn’t go, like…went into work LATE so I could have someone there. My FIL has Fridays off and has asked if he could watch my son those days (I work from home, I was just elated to have a grandpa so interested as I was so close to my grandpa). Basically, all good things. Of course my family is excited too but this is about the in-laws.

Anyways, my SIL had always loved babies, wanted to have many kids, and she is so good with children. She will be a wonderful aunt. We all saw each other yesterday and she mentioned to me that she and my BIL had started to try for a baby. They are a few years younger than us and had always said they were going to wait a few years but that they talked about it and are wanting to try now. She said she felt nervous telling me bc she don’t want me to feel slighted. Of course I said no and part of that is true, like 99% true. I come from a small family and never had cousins my age. My hubs has cousins his age and they all made such fun memories and were so close and I truly am happy my child will have that and that I’ll get someone I already love so much as a mom friend because I’m sure those are hard to find.

The other part of me is a little sad though. It may just be hormones but I was so excited to see how excited my in-laws were to be grands, and how involved they wanted to be for their first grandson. After multiple losses I’ve just been happy that this looks to be a happy ending so far and that everyone gets to dote on what feels like my miracle baby and have him be the object of everyone’s affection for JUST a little while. I was just expecting like a year or something idk. Worst off, I keep on worrying that something will happen to this pregnancy and I’ll have to watch someone so close to me have a healthy baby. I know this is so hypothetical and crazy but last time my friend and I got pregnant at the same time I MCd and had to watch her hit every milestone.

I feel so guilt ridden about these feelings. No baby steals any baby’s thunder and how could I possibly be mad at a wonderful woman who wants what I want? I guess I just want input/advice/encouragement.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Did the grandparents love and dote on both equally? How did you deal with these complicated feelings?

Just to be clear, I would NEVER be rude to anyone over this, it’s just something internal that I’ve been grappling with and I just feel like maybe hearing others Input will help me get over these silly feelings.