Today sucks

My husband and I are fighting because he can't just grin and bear shit for me for a few hours. I love Christmas, he doesn't. I didn't even put up any decorations this year. All I wanted was my annual lunch with my family that lasts all of four hours. He completely lost his cool and now I'm the one having to lie to everyone else about why we can't come to Christmas today, because he doesn't want to do anything and I'm sitting here crying my eyes out at everything that's happened this year that I've supposed to have just accepted.

*Thanks for trying to pep talk me into going but I just couldn't bring myself to go. I'm just so depressed today. He hasn't come to a single event at this particular family members house this year and I am tired of showing up solo as well. I told everyone I had a migraine, had lots of angry messages that I'm cancelling and have just spent the day in bed crying.

This has been the absolute worst year of my life and no one gets it. They don't take my heath concerns seriously (mental health and physical health). I've had so many disappointing and stressful things happen this year. After the fight with my husband it's just the straw that broke the camels back. My dad is the only one who understands.

** He doesn't have autism (he has seen psychologists prior and none of them have brought up any concerns) and no, he wasn't like this in the beginning of our relationship. Three or four years ago something snapped and he even threw away our Christmas tree. I cancelled everything that year too, and the year before that. Last year we went to lunch at my mom's and had a good time. This year is bad again. And sorry but I don't believe in it being his way all the time. I've sacrificed a lot for him this year, even moving to support him. Sometimes, JUST sometimes, he can do the same for me.