I went over to this guys house friday night bc i was having a bad day. The whole two weeks i’ve known this boy he’s been trying to get in my pants but i’ve said no multiple times because i knew what kind of guy he was and i did not want to make myself one of his hoes. But friday night i decided to go over because of the bad day i was having but i told him no sex and he said that it was cool and he just wanted to cuddle watch movies to make me feel better. My entire life men have treated me like nothing and all i want is for a man to care about me and console me through my rough times so when he said this, i was being the stupid girl i am and went over. We were there laying down watching tv and i still had no intent on having sex with him. The boy was not even my type and everyone that knows me knows i only really am attracted to white boys and this one was hispanic it saying hispanics are ugly i just never go for them. So we’re there and he grabs my face violently and kisses me i tell him to stop. He then starts pulling my pants down and suddenly gets on top of me and i’m still begging him to stop and says “want me to stop” i say yes he gets off of me and a few minutes later does the same thing he violently pulls my pants down and gets on top of me again manages to almost get inside of me and i’m fighting me hardest to not let his dick go in and i’m telling him pls stop. He pins me arms down and manages to get it in me and i’m begging him to stop. He finally stops and i get up and ask him to take me home i’m turned towards the dresser and he pulls my pants down again and starts again. at this point i lost all fight in me. I’ve been raped before and when it happens my brain completely shuts down and i just want it to be over so i let him finish he takes videos of time and in one of the videos i’m pushing him away and in the other one i just completely given up and let him finish. So i’m asking if this is sexual assault because even though i said no and pushed him away multiple times i still willing went to his house and i let him continue doing what he was doing. but this whole time i’ve known this boy i’ve been saying no to sex through text messages, voice recording and phone calls i’ve been telling him no. After it happened he was taking me home and forced me to text him “i enjoyed having sex with you” just so it would look like he didn’t rape me. he said if i didn’t do it he was going to drop me off at the gas station and it was 2am. He even called me after he dropped me off and said he felt like a dick after it happened. I just don’t know if i should report it because i know a lot of cases where no one believes the girl and it ends up being a long and hard process. And tbh my parents would not be able to handle it. After i was raped the first time it completely broke my parents and i didn’t even tell them until 2 years later and it hurts them more than it hurts me if i report this and they find out they will completely break. So please lmk if this was considered rape or not. I have a friend who is a cop and i’m considering telling them.