What are my Options ? UPDATE

Question

Update: so my ex is gone, after a long weekend he finally left the house (left some of his things) he also destroyed my kitchen. Although I have been super depressed and sad because of this relationship and the aggressiveness I’m so sad now. Like none stop crying. Idk why I’m doubting my actions and I’m actually worried about him. He goes from being apologetic in text to sending some really crappy messages smh. He saying I’m keeping his daughter from him now. I’m an mess. I need serious prayers please 🙏🏾 
My ex and I have been going through it bad and his aggression only seems to be getting worse. Every time I tell him I don’t want to be with him he flips out and starts screaming and yelling. Lately he’s bee. Throwing things, he put a hole in my wall with his phone, broke our tv stand and broke our back sitting room glass window. He blames all of this on me… I have asked him to leave and he has said over and over he’s not going anywhere. I even called the police. The police said the could t remove him from the home unless I put out a restraining order against him. 
He has never put his hands on me and if so do the restraining order I will be the reason that he’s in the system. The home is My home that I brought prior to meeting him, I have two other children in addition to our daughter so I’m not going to get up and just leave my home. 
Yesterday our argument started because I asked him to go get laundry detergent. If he didn’t go I wanted to go but I didn’t want to pack up all of the kids just to go get laundry detergent. He said no, either we all go together or we don’t go at all… and Wala and argument began. I was over him for the rest of the day honestly, I was talking but not as much because I’m so over the controlling behavior and this relationship. Night came and he expected to have sex even after he just yelled and screamed , accused me of things call me stupid and dumb and blah blah blah. When I told him I wasn’t having sex he came downstairs and broke our TV stand. Im mentally and emotionally drained, I need a way out but I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer

I was a domestic abuse counselor for 12 years. He is abusive. He hasnt hit you yet, but punching walls is also physical abuse because it sends a message that your physical safety is in danger. Abuse is about power and control. Thats why he insisted you go. There is nothing you can do to change him because it isnt about you. He has a need to control his partner, and will do whatever ge can to achieve that. He will find things you do 'wrong' simply to unleash his abuse and blame it in you. It's a tactic to evade responsibility 
Your didnt mention if youre legally married to him or not? But your options are to either leave him and then sort it out in your divorce agreement (if youre married) or evict him (if youre not married) or get an order of protection. Never ever EVER tell him youre leaving or it's over. That is VERY DANGEROUS and thats when the highest levels of violence/injury occur. If you leave him, you have to literally pack up and escape while hes out of the house, or secretly call the police and leave him while theyre present. 
Dont feel badly about his reprocussions. If you dont want to get arrested for theft,  then dobt steal. If you dont want to have an order of protection issued against you, then dont be violent. HE chose this, not you. 
Also,  local domestic violence shelters are available for you! Not all our clients were beaten! To qualify for shelter, you just have to say that you are scared for your safety (which if youre not minimizing what hes doing, you should be). They also offer free counseling even if youre not in shelter. Good luck!

Answer

Honestly the restraining order is the best option he's just going to get worse and you need to think of you and the kids they don't need to see that and you certainly do not deserve it at all. What if he decided one day to lay his hands on you or even worse one of the kids ? I'm sorry but that behavior is scary and can end up out of control fast think of you mama and then precious little ones I know it hurts but you have to think and do what is best

Answer

He sounds unhinged tbh.

Answer

You are being abused and the worst your kids are witnessing this! Get that restraining order! He is damaging your property and your kids have to be terrified. It always starts somewhere

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Call the cops. No contact order. Restraining order make a police report of all the destruction. Contact the family court get sole custody. Those walls will eventually become your face. You all deserve better. It is your home. The only option is for him to leave. Do not feel guilty. He is no longer your problem. If you can’t do it for yourself then do it for your kids. Get this toxic psycho out of your house. You deserve so much better than the crap you are tolerating because you don’t want to be alone. You are allowing the behavior by not getting rid of him. Stop allowing it. You are better off alone than in bad company that doesn’t respect you or appreciate you. Get him the hell out of there.

Answer

I’d call my brothers/cousins to come through when I asked him to get out. 
If that’s not an option, I’d give the ultimatum that you will file a restraining order. At that point, the consequences are his responsibility, not yours.
Good luck friend, wishing you the best through this shitty situation.

Answer

So, the simplest way of getting him out of your house would be providing him with an eviction notice. He's been living with you for over a month, he claims residency at your house. An eviction is the only other way to get him out unless you want to get a restraining order against him. Give him his allowed time to pack his shit, and if he doesn't leave by then, when you call the cops to get him to leave, they'll make him.

Answer

Do the restraining order! It’s a no brainer honestly. Get rid of him.

What are my Options ? UPDATE

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