Why can’t I get pregnant?

Why has the whole journey been difficult when so many people can have 10/11 kids? I know we are extremely lucky to have one little one when so many people can’t but it’s still not easy to want a bigger family.

When we started trying the hope to have a big family was alive, before our little one we fell pregnant the second month of trying, it was the most amazing feeling until we got to our first scan at 12 weeks to be told the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks, we were unable to try again until all the testing had taken place on the mysterious lump by my ovary. We started to try again 3 months later and fell pregnant straight away, it was harder to be as excited this time but we were able to have an early scan because of our history so hopefully the excitement would come. The early scan showed no sac in the uterus, I had sensed it days earlier as all pregnancy symptoms had stopped so as the doctor arranged another scan for 7days later and blood tests and tried to keep us positive, I knew already this baby wasn’t going to make it. The hcg was rising but not doubling and the scan revealed they could still not see a sac so exploratory surgery to find where the pregnancy was as it couldn’t be seen on any scan was to take place. Please sign here for us to remove your tube if that’s where it’s located…

Waking up from surgery I knew that was what had happened. What were my chances of a family now I only had one tube? Again we weren’t able to try again until we’d had tests to check the remaining tube so another 3 months went by. We decided to book a last minute holiday to have a break from it all, when we returned our appointment was booked for a few weeks later. The HSG was awful but it was positive we were all cleared to start trying and if no success in 6 months our appointment to start the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> process was booked in. As it was we didn’t need it, we fell pregnant the week after that test and this time our little peanut stuck, he’s still our little miracle.

Fast forward to our little one turning one and the broodiness returned full force (they hadn’t really left me) and so our journey began again. 12 months later and nothing at all, could I not get pregnant anymore? We went for testing which all came back clear there was no reason for our struggle. Keep trying 6-12 months then we can look at booking in <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. 6 months later we fell pregnant again, I booked the early scan and the same day I started to bleed, I knew what was happening, my symptoms disappeared, I nearly fainted when I was out and about and then the most excruciating pain in one side which felt like extreme trapped wind, I brushed it off but the scan revealed there was no sac in the uterus again, my hcg was dropping this time so they watched and waited, this time the ectopic pregnancy resolved itself and here I am again still trying for that elusive positive 4 months later. Why does my body fail me like this? As my little one gets older I can see just how much of a great big brother he would be. I’ve been taking the right vitamins and folic acid for 2 1/2 years. I’ve eaten well and looked after myself. Why isn’t it happening? As I’ve now headed over the 35 mark it will become even harder I assume. If that’s even possible. What’s even harder is the fact there is nothing I can do about it. When do I start to think about <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, have we got enough money for that and will it impact my little one? I don’t know what the point of this message is other than to vent.