Ignore rude comments or discipline?

Question

My two and a half year old has been saying some rude comments lately which he has learnt off his older comments. 
He says to his dad and I, “go away”, “stop it” while trying to push us. At first we would say no that’s not nice, no pushing, etc. But how do we make the comments go away? Do we ignore it? How do you discipline your young toddler? My husband thinks if we ignore it, he will stop. But he says it constantly throughout the day, it’s becoming quite frustrating. How do you handle your small toddlers verbal defiance?

Answer

It’s not rude, it’s developmentally normal. They are developing language and using the language to communicate what they want or what they are feeling. My son is 6. We practice gentle parenting/attachment parenting. I taught him consent at 1.5 y/o and we practiced gentle hands/safe body. I helped him develop the words for his big feelings and when he didn’t have the words, he communicated physically. 
So many factors play into why he is doing what he’s doing. Is he tired? Is he hungry? Does he feel like his space is being invaded? Is there anything potentially overwhelming him? Take a step back and evaluate the situation. What happened to make him push you? What happened to make him say “stop it”?. When my child says no or to stop something, I respect that because boundaries are important in my home. I want my child to know that he is respected and his boundaries are respected. 
Sometimes my son still hits out of anger because he is still developing impulse control and language. Sometimes his emotions are so big and he struggles to say what is upsetting him in the moment. I validate his feelings and explain that hands aren’t for hitting. I sit with him or hold him until he calms down and then we talk about it. 
Your child doesn’t understand what rudeness is. He’s a toddler. He isn’t intentionally being rude. He’s still developing and learning.
Be patient with him. Be calm and be kind.

Answer

I don’t necessarily find that to be rude 🤷‍♀️ my toddler says “go away from me” when he wants to play alone. That’s a perfectly acceptable ask in my house. How else is he expected to ask for time alone? I personally see nothing wrong with it. 
As far as discipline, is ignore this and focus on positive reinforcement for the behavior you do want to see. At this age in particular, they’re far more likely to do what you want when you focus on that instead of the negative.

Answer

My son is a fire cracker. But is very loving. So really it depends what’s happening at the time. Is he tired? Is he hungry? Overstimulated? If he is acting out due to any of the above we ignore the hitting and just get down to his level and talk through his emotions with him. As sometimes bringing attention to the acts can make them continue and maybe even get worse. 
If he is having a tantrum for not getting his way with something again we don’t give in but we just deter his attention. So try and distract him with something else or what ever. 
The only time we bring attention to hitting is when it is the face with an object…. Like a toy. Which he has all thankfully stopped. We have emotion cards and we go through them…. When he’s frustrated or angry we pull them out and tell him which ones to point to.. is he angry or frustrated? and then we teach him how to understand and better handle these emotions… because hitting can hurt him or someone else else. But again depending on circumstances we will either hold his hands and kiss them and tell him hands are for hugs and kisses not for hitting. But just not make a big deal of it as to solely focus on the action of hitting. If In a tantrum he waves his hands with an effort to strike our face I just go “oh no! That’s not nice mumma ☹️” “that makes mumma sad” and will get his emotion cards and tell him to show me which one the sad face is. Again teaching him to understand emotions and then working on them together. 
He’s 21 months he is doing really well. With my first two I just did the gentle parenting approach and it was that easy…. They’re now 11 and 9 and are beautiful well spoken and compassionate young girls. But my son… we had to tweak it a little bit. 
It’s all trial and error. You need to connect to your son. You know what triggers him. You know how to communicate with him. Find things that work. But usually discipline in the way of bringing attention to what he is doing will make it worse

Answer

Why do the comments need to stop? Usually my kids say “stop” and “go away” appropriately. If they say it during something I can’t stop (like changing a poopy diaper) or leave I tell them I understand but I cannot stop/leave right now.

Answer

What exactly does your child say? How does he use it in a sentence? When does your child act this way?
I honestly don’t think stop it” is a rude comment, go away, but idk how he uses them, however if you don’t want your child to use those words then teach your child the words you would like for him to use instead of those. But in order to help you out I would like to know how he uses it.
Ex: If you guys are grabbing him to leave the playground and he says “stop it” “go away” ask him if he means he wants to stay longer? Then tell him okay so you don’t say stop it go away instead say need to say “can we please stay longer” and maybe just try staying longer for a bit so he can get the hang of it and  just be consistent. And hopefully your child will grow out of that phase.
My 14 month old has picked up the word “Stop” and I love it because it’s like she’s speaking up for herself when her cousins are getting her annoyed she says it and they at first would ask me why she tells them “stop” lol  but I’ve explain she means she wants her space leave her alone for a bit lol, or her dad always keep on offering food so she says the word and he understands she’s full to leave her alone too lol🤣

Ignore rude comments or discipline?

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