Nobody explains to you the depth of the trauma you will have after an abusive relationship.

Nobody will tell you that if you hear anyone yelling you will be completely sent into fight or flight mode.

Nobody will tell you that even a year after you left that when your new boyfriend reaches out to touch your face gently out of affection that you flinch, even though you have a completely healthy relationship and he’s never hurt you.

Nobody will tell you that fast movements from anyone will send you into a panic.

Nobody tells you that when you leave the abuse, it rents a space in your head for horrible flash backs.

And nobody will tell you that this will continue to happen even as you heal, and the flash backs get so bad it disrupts your sleep.

Nobody will tell you that even though he’s gone and you have nothing to do with him that you worry he’s going to show up and kill you someday.

I am healing, I am hurting, I think I have raging PTSD. And I am so tired.