Found out yesterday morning I’m expecting after my miscarriage in September and confirmed with a digital test this morning.

I feel horrible because as badly as I want to be excited, I’m so ambivalent right now.

Part of me wants to tell a few people, and the other part of me doesn’t know whether or not to believe it, myself.

I don’t know how to tell my kids, 15 and 6 (I would typically tell them right away) because I don’t want to put them through the pain if I have another miscarriage. My husband knows, but he’s dealing with it in his own way and making slightly underhanded comments that are bugging me, but I realize he’s trying to cope, too.

I feel guilty for “moving on” from my last baby, but then feel even guiltier for not intensely celebrating this one.

How the heck do you get past these feelings and just embrace and enjoy a pregnancy? How do I tell the kids? 😩

All I can do right now is pray.