I suffer from really bad anxiety and I have panic attacks so often. My ex used to be able to calm me down. In fact, he was the only person who has ever been able to calm me down when I have a panic attack. Ever since he left, I’ve been having constant panic attacks almost every day (about school, life and just everything), and the only way to calm myself is by hurting myself so that my mind shifts its focus towards the pain. I know it’s not good for me to do it but i’ve tried everything else and it never works. I don’t really ask for help because the people in my life don’t care and it’s hard, because I have to deal with it all alone. It has always been just me and myself and my stuffed animals because I usually vent out to my stuffed animals cause they don’t judge since they are just animals with cotton. I know it sounds depressing and I’m really sorry. I was supposed to go no contact with my ex, but I couldn’t because of certain things and I felt like telling him that I had a panic attack and let him know that I wished he was there but I know that he doesn’t care either (he actually said that he doesn’t care about me). So now I’m just sitting here with a really painful leg that is red and venting out to a bunch of strangers.

I apologize cause i know i sound like i’m a nut job. i’m really sorry if this post disturbs you i didn’t mean to do it.