I'm struggling. I'm struggling on so many levels.

I can't sleep, my head has a million thoughts racing every second, I barely eat because there is really nothing I wanna eat, someone in the household is always somewhat sick but the past two weeks has been a mess with corona taking us down one at the time, my emails are exploding, my mail hasn't been looked through in two months, I barely have any clue on what going on bank wise at this point, there is a billion things to be done in the house but we aren't finding anyone to do it and aren't doing the small things we can ourselves because we're in survival mode, we bdreæy hug each other because we're both so burned out at this point, I miss my friends, I miss doing something fun, I miss my husband and I miss not being scared about this mess that is currently our life.

I'm just so burned out. And I'm so sad.

I needed Christmas and new years, but everyone including myself has been sick so I didn't even hug my brother and now he's out of the country again and I don't know for how long and it's really one of the things that's pushing me over the edge.

I don't wanna be an adult anymore. I just want to throw my worries away and hide in my bed. But I guess I have to wipe my tears and go feed the baby and go to bed where I won't be able to sleep and then feed my baby again at some point and then not sleep some more and then get up and get my oldest ready for daycare and try to get her out of the door before baby needs a nap so she can come home and nap so I can clean bottles and empty the dishwasher and try and clean things up a bit so it's less messy to be here and things are only a giant mess in my head and behind cabinet doors.

SO EXHAUSTED!

Edit to answer - A good therapist will easily have a waiting list of up to a year and I can't afford someone outside Healthcare. Or I could, but not for more than a visit or two and it would eat my savings.