I need to vent. I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter and such a handsome little man who just turned 1. I found out when he was 9 months old that I was pregnant again. My last pregnancy was the worst. I had placenta previa, ended up having him @35w2d gestation due to placenta abruption and almost dying in the hospital from bleeding out, he has Spina Bifida (paralyzed from the waist down along with lots of other diagnosis related to it), I guess you can say I have a lot of anxiety and PTSD from my last pregnancy and never got to truly heal mentally or physically from that. I know without a shadow of doubt that I love this baby boy growing inside me (I’m 20w5d) but I’m just not excited at all. I haven’t bought him one thing or really looked at my growing bump and just felt happy to be bringing another life into this world. I want him, I love him- I just feel this way and feel so terrible that I do. Does that make me a bad mom? I don’t even know if that’s the right question to ask. I’m just so… empty feeling but overwhelmed all at the same time if that makes any sense. Thanks for reading this far 🥲