Help me. I don’t want to do this forever

Hello, posting anonymous because this is a very private topic for me and I have no idea who I can ask without being judged ( keep that on mind ) I have been with my husband for 10 years. At the beginning of our relationship I had issues performing the act because I was really closed down there. I had to go thru a small surgical procedure to aid me with this issue. After that, I was traumatized so I remember talking to a friend about this and she told me I should think dirty things to get me more excited so I would relax better. I took her advice sort off. Fast forward I became really sad that now I have to do it or I won’t orgasm. It’s like I depend on it. In my imagination I’m always having sex with my husband so it’s not like I’m thinking on someone else but I’m imagining scenarios that go against of what my convictions are. Example : we are coworkers instead of husband and wife, or he is my boss, or whatever else but he is always the guy I’m with. I know for some people this is okay but I’m sad because for me is not. I need to change this. I don’t know how. I feel really bad. I’ve sort of talk about this with him and he doesn’t mind but I do. Please not judgements. I can’t answer you individually but I read you and thank you for trying to help me ❤️

Update : Lorissa : thank you for answering and your kind words. I just wish I would fantasize with something that doesn’t go against my religion. I’m trying to think of what else but I’m lost. He is not into playing like that. We have talked about this