35 weeks + 4 Days

Hey mamas,

Just wanted to do a bit of venting. I feel like I’m losing a war with depression right now.

I can’t sleep and all I can find myself doing is crying. And when I do sleep I’m struggling to get out of bed. I don’t want to deal with reality right now.

My husband lost his job on august of last year and I was terminated 4 days before Christmas. This is my first time in this predicament. I’m so lost and so scared. I don’t know what to do. Just a few days before I was so excited to put my maternity request and then boom terminated.

I can’t find another job right now, cause baby will be here soon and any benefits I can apply for will take forever since they need documentation from my job and there taking 30 - 45 days to submit.

I’m scared of not paying the bills. Of losing the house. I get so unmotivated every time I see a negative balance on both our accounts.

I’ve felt with depression for a while and was handling it. I’ve been suicide it in the pass but not I really just do feel worthless.

The only thing that has been keeping me together in one piece has been feeling every movement in my belly.

I feel so alone. I feel like I have no one to turn to and talk too. Even my own husband. He knows something has been off lately but I find it hard to speak to him cause I feel like he’s not going to understand.

So it’s easier to do type here.